I stayed after school today to finish my English short movie project. I told mom to pick me up at 5.30 p.m. but we were done by 4 p.m. I had my friend's Nikon D90 so I took pictures until mom came. I realized that my school is the perfect place to take photos. The views are amazing. Here are some of the photos I took today, hope you like them. Fortunately they are better than the ones I took yesterday. (what a cold teeny paragraph. I'm really tired right now and I can't do any better than this. I promise the upcoming ones will be much more sincere)

5.15 a.m. -Mark Knopfler

I can't believe I woke up at 3.18 a.m. Lately I've been having troubles going to bed early. However it was 6.43 p.m. when I fell asleep. (I have clock right next to my bed and when I last checked the time it was 6.43 ) I was so sleepy I forgot to get into my PJs. I fell asleep with my school uniform on.

Yesterday was a bitter-sweet day. The only interesting thing we did was to dissect a sheep's and a turkey's heart during biology. It was my first surgical experience, it was an amateur one of course. I was so excited mom told me that my eyes got bigger when I talked about it.

Other than that, I felt useless today cause all the pictures I took during photography sucked. I couldn't get one of them right. The rest of the day was an ordinary Tuesday. Now I have to finish the homework that was do today while listening to 5.15 a.m. - Mark Knopfler. Arrivederci!

photography madness

f.y.i. the heart dissection photos are taken by Beliz Malkoçlar. Thanks Beliz!

Mom Will Be So Mad

It is 2 a.m. and no matter what I do I can't sleep. If mom sees me awake, she will immediately start a minor chaos. I woke up at 12.30 today that's what made me toss and turn in my bed since 11.30 p.m. Instead of tossing and turning I decided to update my blog. So hear is how this entry goes:

I watched Across the Universe and My Blueberry Nights this weekend. I enjoyed them both. I realized that even though I watch movies quite a lot, I haven't watched most of the indispensables of the cinema history. For example, The Godfather. (I'm dying to see it and I will as soon as possible) So I made myself a to-watch list. It is still not completed but I will write them all once it is finished.

I want to watch one of the movies right now but then I'll have to go to bed at least at 4 a.m. but I can't make through a Monday with just 2 hours of sleep. Plus, I have a geography quiz tomorrow, which I haven't studied just a bit. Don't get me wrong, I didn't just slouch this weekend instead of studying geography. I solved some extra math questions and studied some extra physics. I was just not in the mood for geography, I never am. But I shouldn't worry at all. My friends can help me study tomorrow just before the quiz. That's what friends are for.

I really really really have to try sleeping right now. I'll look like a corpse-geography-victim who has huge purple bags under her eyes tomorrow if I don't. Arrivederci, sweet dreams!

Cry Baby Cry

Just what I needed. My school was closed today, as I said yesterday and my best friend had promised me to come to our new house. We met downtown, went to Cook Shop to eat something and bought some new year presents for our friends. I got my best friend 2 fish. One of her friend already got her one but he was too lonely in his tiny aquarium all by his own. So my gift was actually for Tezcan(that's what she calls her tiny little companion).

After we were done with the new-years shopping, we went to the theatre to see a new-release Turkish movie. It was called Başka Dilde Aşk. I'm not sure what the English version of the title is but it means love in another language. It was about a woman and a deaf man's love and how hard they survived their relationship. Everyone around them, their friends and both of their families were against their relationship however they were altruistic enough to be ignorant about their flaws. It was a great love story, just like the other movie we watched today.

After we got home we prepared ourselves a great meal. Actually my best friend did the most work, she is going to be a cook in the future. After our humble meal we watched Jeux D'enfants. It was truly comic and the second best love story I ever saw. (The Notebook is the best I've ever seen) I bursted into tears when I thought Julien was dead and I didn't stop until the very end. Emira was watching the movie for the 20th time (at least) so all she did was to laugh at me and hit me with pillows 'til I stopped crying.

Both of us were in the mood of crying and the emotional scenes of Jeux D'enfants wasn't enough for us so we decided to watch Babam ve Oğlum. It was a tragic movie about the broken relationships of a family. I strongly recommend you to watch it. Click here for the synopsis. We cried the last 20-25 minutes of the movie. Our desperate situation was quite ridiculous. Emira fell asleep during the movie. When I started crying out loud, my strange sniffing woke her up and she started crying as she woke up. Both of us were making strange noises and crying so bad that you would think that someone had died. Lucky was sleeping and when he heard us he ran toward us and started barking barking and barking. I thought he would never stop. Think of it this way: The movie is still not finished and the volume is at maximum, there you have the actor screaming "My boy!", two funny looking teenage girls crying their eyes out plus a crazy, wild, cat-size dog barking and trying to jump on them. If you ever see a situation like this, run away, quick.

Now, all the crying has stopped and were just laughing about what just happened. Crying was made me feel good, like a relief. I wasn't sad or anything but it just felt good. Our eyes has shrunk due to the heavy crying session and we are in the desperate need of sleep. I wonder, after watching 3 movies what will we dream about tonight? Arrivederci!

Merry Christmas

I'd like to start with saying "Happy holidays everyone!"

It was an above-average week. Monday was quite ordinary just like Tuesday. I turned in my math homework which was quite unusual for me. I borrowed my friends' cameras and took some pictures while the rest of the class was at the dark room. Personally they were not as good as the ones I took the previous week. Like my teacher says, I have to widen the aperture. On Wednesday there was a new year party at school. It wasn't bad but I can't say that it was truly entertaining. I didn't dance all the time but I made the most out of the time I danced. Wednesday was the most extraordinaire day. Today was just as monotonous as Monday and Tuesday and I'm truly glad there is no school tomorrow.

Tonight I've got absolutely nothing to do. I'll probably read Sense and Sensibility and listen some music. I wish it was raining, then I would be too busy watching the droplets...

It was a perfect perfect weekend; I didn't have any homework, it was rainy and cold, I ate some delicious food, Lucky was with me all the time (in fact that 4-legged beast is sitting on my lap and chewing his toy right now), I watched Becoming Jane, Pride and Prejudice and Avatar, basically I chilled all weekend long.

Saturday was rainy and cold, the perfect conditions for a chilling-mood. Today, dad, Lucky and I took a walk to Beşiktaş. The weather was unexpectedly warm. The wind was a southwester and it made the waves hit the shore rapidly. The view was amazing. I learned that after southwester winds the weather immediately becomes cold and that the southwester winds won't be wandering around Istanbul starting from tonight. I had heard from the forecast that they were expecting the weather to be really cold on Monday and Tuesday so this explains it all. (I should be a meteorologist someday.) I hope it snows! It's not that I want a snow holiday, the snow on Friday wasn't nearly enough for me.

I really don't like eating fish. I hate to feel the tiny bones in my mouth, it drives me crazy. So when I'm eating fish I comb out the bones slowly and carefully. The meal gets colder and colder, and when I'm done the fish doesn't taste good at all. Dad wanted to have fish, so I told my dad to get salmon cause I wouldn't eat any other fish. (of course not in a greedy-little-girl manner) I have no idea how dad cooked the salmon but it tasted heavenly. In addition, I discovered that Ben & Jerry's has a new flavour: Chocolate Macadamia. It is one of the best ice-cream flavours I have ever tasted. It is against my no-sugar/no-insulin-raising-thing diet but dad said that one spoon wouldn't do any harm.

I did lots of watching during the weekend. Avatar was way too long but I liked the fiction and the characters. Pride and Prejudice was much more funnier than the book. Even though I loved the book, while reading it I thought that it was not that funny, unlike the critics who commented on it. (but who is to criticize Jane Austen's work anyway?) As for Becoming Jane, I absolutely HATED the end and I felt really sorry for poor Jane. If I could end the film differently, Mr. Lefroy wouldn't marry someone he didn't love instead of Jane. After he had become a successful lawyer he would propose to Jane again. Or Jane would run away with Mr. Lefroy and they could earn money by Jane's pen. Mr. Lefroy would become successful in his profession and they would live happily ever after. If I had ended the story the would be a happy ending no matter what. I hadn't watched a sad end before. But now I understand the significance of bad endings; they are real, they show us the realities of life. I should think of it this way; If Jane's life had a happy ending she wouldn't have written the 6 indispensables of English literature.

It was a perfect weekend and I shall make it even more marvelous by reading Sense and Sensibility while listening to the raindrops gliding on my window. Arrivederci!

Future Lover

When there's snow on the ground (365/271)
Originally uploaded by JenniPenni

Sleep=Perfection. Last night I wen to to bed at 11 p.m. and it was 1.25 p.m. when I woke up. Apparently I skipped school today. It's half-day on Fridays and our buses leave school at 13.25. What a coinkidink! I wish I slept 14 hours everyday...

I had nothing to do at home so my best choices were daydreaming and reading a book. I had really missed snow and first of all I dreamt about snow. Skiing off-piste, getting lost at a skiing centre where you have never been before, coming to your hotel room after a cold skiing session and relaxing in front of the chimney, drinking hot cocoa and eating french fries with beer etc. Boy I missed skiing and winter! I have to see snow and feel the sweet chill on my cheeks. I want to stick out my tongue while it's snowing outside. Based on this thoughts I decided to live somewhere which always snows. Always, always and always snows! I want to have a cosy forest house in the middle of the woods. I can curl under the blankets with my Saint Bernard, Lucky, my family and my loved ones. I can sit by the chimney and watch the harmonious dance of the snow flakes rapidly hitting my windows. I want to hear the the daunting wind playing on my rooftop and making the snow fall on the ground. When I'm bored, I want to go outside and build the biggest snowman ever or lie on the thick snow and make snow angels. I can bake chocolate chip or ginger-flavored cookies (f.y.i. I'm good at baking) and eat them with a cold cup of milk just before bed. This is my ultimate dream, I hope it comes true someday... If it doesn't I'll definitely make it come true.

By the way I just peeked outside and guess what? It's snowing! Miraculous. If I had wished for something else, it would have gotten true. I better wish for true love. If that wish doesn't come true I'll explode in a few days or I'll be mortuus due to taedium.

p.s. my room's electrical system doesn't work and I survive with my crystal-ball-shaped red light. A sexier ambiance can't possibly exist.
mortuus: dead
taedium: boredom

Monotony

Exam session morning
Originally uploaded by Scartist

My math teacher will laugh out loud when he grades my quiz paper. The things I wrote were completely nonsense. I'll do better the next time. This time I mean it.

I decided my life is too monotonous. It's even more monotonous than the Bennett's' life. (Pride & Prejudice) I don't have any action at all. It's the same every week. Let me be clear; I want to fall in love. I want to feel that fever again, that excitement, that thrill, I want my breath to be taken away... In my opinion, being in love is an honour. Everybody doesn't get that privilege. Love i the ultimate reason to be happy, I don't understand why people who are in love suffer. I was looking forward to high school just for my falling-in-love expectation. I thought that there would be someone out there to make me feel over the moon. I still am waiting... But I shouldn't be on lookout. It should be spontaneous and I should feel it when I expect it the least. I read this saying: Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall. So true but I'm way too bored because of this monotony. Maybe there is someone so close, so close that I can't even see. I shouldn't condition myself to fall in love, it's the worst thing to do. Cause if you do that, you feel like you should be thinking of someone constantly and that won't lead to love no matter what. That would turn into an obsession. Anyway, all I have to do is wait, wait and wait some more...

fragile

I'm too emotional today. I feel like I can burst into tears any second. I hate when people don't empathize when they are talking to you. They don't even think that their words might hurt you. I become quite breakable in situations like this. Even the tiniest thing can easily offend me, I blush, my eyes get heavier and heavier and I try so hard not to cry. I don't usually cry but in such cases my mood changes in a wink and I become someone completely different. You know what hurts the most? If this thing is done to you by someone you consider as a close friend. You think that they know you; but realizing they didn't care about you at all makes you want to hide your head just like a scared ostrich. I might be exaggerating but this is exactly how I feel right now. I don't like the way I feel but I can't help it. I have to get out of this mood as soon as possible. (bu the way, I said but four times)

Now, I'm all alone at the house (Lucky is here of course) cause mom's pharmacy has to be open tonight. It's nice being alone. I made myself some strange meal, it tasted peculiarly delicious. I won't say what was in it cause all of the ingredients are irrelevant. You wouldn't even dare to try it however, when they combine they make a harmonious composition.

I have a math quiz tomorrow, I studied but I have to solve a lot more questions. Am I in the mood for solving math questions? Definitely not. So after taking a warm bath I'll curl under my thick quilt and finish Pride & Prejudice. I had paused reading it but I'm nearly finished. Only forty pages left. I better get going, I want to be sleeping by 11.30 o'clock, 12 tops. Arrivederci!

Charlie Bit Me

Today I-had-fun! It was the best day of school(yet) since the beginning of high school. Especially the photography classes. We watched/listened Charlie Bit Me Remix the entire two lessons. One of my friend wasn't using his Nikon D3000, so I borrowed it to take pictures until the end of class. All of my classmates kept singing Charlie Bit Me all day long. I'm still listening Charlie Bit Me, it has become an addiction. :) I have two quizzes tomorrow, so gotta go! Arrivederci!

Here are the pics I took today, what 'cha think?

There is nothing better than falling asleep while listening to music. I've been doing it for a while, especially in the mornings when I'm going to school. These songs are my recent favorites:

Cold Water Music-Aim

North West Three-Fatboy Slim

All I Need-Air

Beautiful Crazy-Space Raiders

6 Underground-Sneaker Pimps

Go(Subliminal Mix)-Moby

Elle Et Moi-Cicada

42-Coldplay

Trouble-Coldplay

The Scientist-Coldplay

Belief-John Mayer

love them all. Hope you like them too. Gotta do my physics homework now. Arrivederci!

*you can find most of the songs in Ministry of Sound Presents Chilled II 1991-2009

Idle

I've been completely idle the past few days. My mood continously changed. Even though I wanted to write a new entry each and every day, I couldn't. After writing one or two sentences, my mind got off wandering in utopia. I've been mostly sleepy and grouchy. Instead of surfing the Internet needlessly, I read most of the time and did some of my homeworks.

Most important of all, I did lots and lots of thinking. I thought about everything; I critisized myself, my actions my wants and my thoughts. Honestly, I've looked from an objective perspective. But I'm still not done yet.

Last night I went to a party. It was pure bo-ring. The music sucked. Music is the food of my soul but I felt like I was digesting myself. (sorry if it's too harsh but reality is indeed bitter) If I had known it would be this boring I would have stayed home curled under my favorite blankets and read Jane Austen. Last night would've been a perfect reading night; it was raining and under a cosy blanket I could have had a great quality time.

It's raining outside now, the forecast said that it might be sleety tomorrow. I hope it gets colder and colder cause I really missed snow. I love winter and in the future I want to live somewhere that always snows. The north pole would do, I wanted to see the northern lights all my life. That was just one of the things I thought of the past few days...

Bye for tonight!

*I love photography and if I had a camera I would love to upload photos taken by me. But, unfortunatley, I don't have one. I hope Santa brings me a Nikon D5000. (I won't use the scene features cause I'll be taking pictures manually.)

Who's She?

I've been looking at the mirror ever since I came home, I still am looking. I'm trying to get to know the reflection in the mirror. She doesn't seem like me. She doesn't think like me either. I've been feeling truly peculiar today. Am I falling in love? Definitely not. This is just an obsession that will pas in a few days. It's nothing serious, I hope. This obsession has been growing out on me. I would've never thought I would feel this way someday. This may be just another teenage-syndrome, ergen, day. I hope it is. Last night I had an amazing dream. I know it was just a dream but I loved it. I talked to someone whom I haven't been talking to lately, someone whom I've been kind of ignoring. I always think about the reason why we don't talk to each other and just ignore each other. I HATE it. In my dream I was really ill and I was about to die and he told me that he would do anything to help me survive, it was nice to see that he still cared about me. Wish I could talk to that someone right now... Anyway I thought about that dream all day long and the thought really made me feel this peculiar. I really want to talk to that someone, just a "Hi" is enough...

I just got my glasses today, it fits me nice but I can't recognize myself with glasses. That is another reason I'm still looking at the mirror...

These are not my glasses, of course.

A Delicious Day

Today was absolutely de-li-ci-ous! I did a favor for dad today, I woke up at 9 a.m. His best friends from college were visiting Istanbul and he wanted me to meet them. He was really excited about seeing his friends after a long time. So we woke up at 9 a.m. and went to the Bosphorus for breakfast. We went to a restaurant called Happily Ever After. The meals were absolutely delicious and there was nothing that I couldn't eat of my no-eating-insulin-raising-product diet. I ate scrambled eggs in a croissant with sliced turkey. It was absolutely mouth-watering.

After our perfect breakfast we went to Contemporary Istanbul. Contemporary Istanbul is a modern and contemporary art event. Honestly, I didn't enjoy it as much as I wanted to because after reading the whole brochure I had an headache that could have killed me. After I was done examining the whole exhibitions, I sat down somewhere, closed my eyes and waited for dad and his friends. Even though I did a quick tour and didn't have enough time to examine all of the works carefully, there were 3 artists' work that attracted my attention the most. These were: Zerrin Tekindor, Tuncay Takmaz and Christian Awe. Zerrin Tekindor's paintings were generally about women and I loved the way she drew the eye make-up. I liked how Tuncay Takmaz and Christian Awe used the colors. (apart from the paintings and photographs, my favorite thing about Contemporary Istanbul was the fortune cookies given at the exit). I wish I haven't had that god damn headache... Anyway after that we were supposed to go somewhere and drink some coffee but my headache had gotten worse so dad dropped me to the house. I took a pain killer and... boom! my headache was all gone.

I had gotten pretty hungry by that time so I decided to prepare myself a delicious meal. My grandma had sent tarhana(it's m favorite soup of all time). It was still uncooked so I called grandma and I got the recipe. First I put 3 spoonful or tarhana into a bowl and filled the empty parts with water. While the tarhana was getting softer, I put 1.5 spoonful of tomato paste in to a saucepan and added just a little olive oil (the original recipe says add corn oil but there was no of that left). I turned on the heater so that the olive oil and the tomato paste could mix. While they were mixing, I stirred and mixed the tarhana-water mixture until tarhana became liquid-ish, then added the mixture to the saucepan after sieving it. (I don't like the solid particles in the soup, so I sieve it before I add it to the saucepan.) I also made myself a tasty salad and added my all time favorite sauces while the soup was cooking. First I washed all of the lettuce and the greenery and dried it. I cut them into big pieces(when they are bigger they taste better;)) and put them in to a salad bowl. The other ingredients of my salad were black olives, some little cube shaped cheese and tiny tomatoes. Pomegranate molasses, olive oil and just a little bit of Caesar sauce were the final touches. After I prepared the whole table just for myself I enjoyed my scrumptious meal. It would've been perfect if I hadn't put so much tomato paste in the soup... All in all, this was the most efficient quality time that I had with myself for a long time...

Now I'm going to read a book, after that dad will drop me to mum's and that's how my day will finish. Arrivederci!

by the way, I discovered a super duo: Apple and Ben&Jerry's vanilla. Cut the apple in pieces and put the ice-cream on it. Together they taste heavenly delicious.

Zerrin Tekindor

Wild

I just got back home, dad and I were out to get glasses for me. Now I'm at dad's. I don't have any homework(I actually don't know if I have homework to do or not), how nice. I was looking at my photos on my laptop and I realized that in every single folder there is a starnge shot of me. I picked some for you but don't get me wrong, I don't always look like this :)

Nice

Today was a nice day. Just a nice day. Even though I learned that I'm astigmatic and the pockets under my eyes are purple due to my exhaustion, I feel good. 2 of my friend weren't talking to each other I helped them make up, I went shopping with mom, both of the exams I took today were perfect and I hanged out with my friends downtown. The day was tiring but fun. How nice...

I'm obsessed with the Irish lately. I don't know why. Perhaps it's because they are good-looking and lucky ;)

I'm too tired now and if I keep on talking all I'll say will be a whole bunch of nonsense, bye!

What has happend?

Christmas lights question mark
Originally uploaded by Captain Camera

"I don't want the break to end." was the first thing I told myself when I woke up Tuesday morning(the day school started, unfortunately) at 6.30 a.m. The mid-term break passed quickly, too quickly. Time flies when you're having fun but I was not having fun at all. Studying non-stop for 6 exams is not as fun as you think it is. I've had 4 exams and now there is only 2 to go. My work is paying off actually; all of the exams I took was good. However biology was quite hard but I believe I'll probably get a good grade. Even though studying hard helped me a lot, I'm sick of it. All of my friends are. Exams and homework are the only things we talk about lately, how much everyone wants to sleep is a popular topic as well. I witnessed something really unbelievable today: every single chair and table in the library was occupied by 9th and 10th graders. All of the school had an exam the 8th period and every single student was at the library studying studying and studying. Anyway, on Thursdays we have a double-period math the last 2 periods. In addition to this, the longest school day of the week is Thursday so during math lessons on Thursdays my class blows its stock and everyone goes wild. Today it was even worse. We learned our math exam results and everyone went absolutely insane. Some were happy(like me cause I expected to get 24/100 but I got 60/100 instead, how nice) in contrast some were shocked. Everybody started acting abnormal. Few people were kicked out out the class and most of the people changed their seats more than twice during the lesson. It was pure craziness. At the 10th minute of the second period, our teachers patience overflowed and he declaimed about his discontent about our bad behaviour. I'm glad that's over. It was a loong loong day and it's still not over. Now I have to study chemistry and English, wish me good luck!


"What has happened?"i s our math teachers catch phrase.